Grandma's Toddler Rejection

by Mary
(Portland OR)

I live on the other side of the country from my 2 1/2 year old grandson. Recently we met in the middle for a family wedding. When I approached him, he gave me a hug and pulled away. From then on, I observed that he smiled and went to others, no problem, even when he looked at me he would say "no". This went on for a week while we were there. At the end of the week, my daughter in law's father was dying and I went back to their home to help out. I met with the same rejection while visiting them and watched members of my daughter in laws family interact with him without rejection but with me it was always "no". This is crushing me as you can imagine. Now I'm back home and feeling awful about my visit with my grandson, any suggestions?

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Aug 20, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		NoNo grandson'
by: Anonymous


Thank you so much for your response. It's good to know I'm not alone. Tell your Mom I sure feel her pain. It's the worst when everyone around you is getting his love and you're not. And being so far away makes it so hard. I don't have a lot of money to spend so I've been going to garage sales and finding little things to send him so he knows I'm thinking about him all the time. I found this mantra and - say it every day, perhaps your Mom would like it. Thanks again for your kind thoughts

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back!
Don't expect love in return;
Just wait for it to grow in their heart,
But if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.
Aug 20, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Be patient
by: Anonymous

Toddlers are hard to understand. My son's Grandma lives far away as well and she is visiting this week. My son keeps telling her "go away" and I know it's hard for my Mom. But I took my son to daycare this AM and he said he wanted to go home. I asked why and he said "to play with Grandma" So at this age, they really don't communicate well. Give it time!
Jun 09, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		"NoNo" grandson
by: mary

Thanks,Grandma. I have sent cards and a recorded book and we skype every week so its not like he doesn't know WHO I am. I find it very strange. I wonder sometimes if when we skype we are being intrusive in his eyes. But he doesn't have this issue with my husband, just me. Breaks my heart.
Jun 09, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Kid's Can Drive Us Up a Wall
by: Grandma

Hello Mary,

I realize how much hurt you are going through with your grandson, they really can drive us up a wall trying to figure them out. I'm sure you realize with living so far away has a lot to do with him rejecting your affection. Maybe if you just start writing to him and sending him small gifts, or even try going to Hallmark and getting one of those books that you read and record your voice might help break the ice with him. Hopefully the next time you visit and he's a bit older, he just might recognize your voice and be more affectionate to you.

Grandma

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